Blog

Feng Shui and Touch: The Forgotten Dimension of Your Home Experience

How you picture your home is visual, but your experience of it is multi-sensory. Think of the tactile or textural experience of your home. This is even more important as winter continues to hang on and we need to snuggle in.

A Feng Shui kitchen is the heart of the home. Picture yourself gathered around a table with friends or family, or sitting on your own with a cup of coffee or tea. Contrary to what your grandmother said, elbows and forearms will be resting on the table or kitchen island. Do you relax or draw away? What is your tactile or touch experience? If the table or kitchen counter is granite, marble or glass, you will withdraw from its cold hard surface – undermining the warm emotional experience you desire from your kitchen.

Wooden topped kitchen island — A truly welcoming kitchen island

A week ago my friend, Laurie, asked me what to do with her worn kitchen island countertop. Since I love to give my opinion on design issues, I was eager to hear her question.

She has a cherry wood counter top on her kitchen island, and after twenty years it is looking worn. Another friend suggested simply adding a granite top to the wooden surface, but Laurie was not sure that was the best situation.

I asked her how she uses her kitchen island. Laurie’s family shares meals at the island and her teenagers do their homework there. Clearly her kitchen island is an important gathering place for her family.

Granite is an elegant kitchen work surface, but it is also hard and cold. A gathering table or kitchen island needs to be warm and inviting. On a subtle level a granite, marble, stone or concrete counter will be unwelcoming. Because of its cold, hard qualities, you and your family and friends will avoid it and may not know why. More importantly you will loose a gathering place in your home.

Laurie’s friend is a serious home cook and her kitchen island was not used as a gathering place. In that case granite is great.

Think of touch and texture when you are selecting items for your home. Wood is the warmest and most welcoming. Formica and Corian are practical and neutral. Stone, concrete and glass are cold and hard.

The same tactile issues apply to a kitchen or dining room table – or even a desk. Think about your total experience of the material, not just its appearance. How welcoming is a glass-topped table? Is the table a gathering place, like a coffee table or dining table? Or is it an elegant decorative piece? Think of how you are using the piece – that will guide to make the best selection for your emotional and decorating needs.

Still, ever-ready to give advice to my friend – I suggested that all she simply refinish the solid wood counter top so it doesn’t look so worn. Ideally she can work with someone who will do minimum sanding to maintain as much of the patina of the wood as possible. One of the things we love about wood is the character it develops with time and wear – just like us. 😉

Update: Visiting my friend’s home recently, she was so happy that she kept her worn and warm cherry wood kitchen island counter top – and you can see why.

One of my favorite things about winter is having an excuse to snuggle up with sweaters, quilts and throws. A quilt or throw that has been washed innumerable times until it is deliciously soft is a wonderful treat. I find that natural materials are the best for warmth and comfort. A rayon chenille throw can feel plush, but is just does not keep me warm. Wool is warmest. Quilted silk or cashmere, if you are lucky, is purr-inducing. The tactile delights of summer are soft grass under your bare feet, freshly laundered cotton and linen and the silkiness of flower petals.

photo by author

Powerful Feng Shui Intentions: Three Secrets

I read an article in Oprah magazine by Martha Beck on how to create a vision board. She wrote about her new awareness of what makes a vision board work. This got me thinking about intentions and how to take them to a deeper and more powerful level.

Rather than a vision board with photos of thousand dollar bills, a hot sweetie and sunsets on the beach, find images that speak to and reflect your deepest self. Use your imagination and intuition. You may be drawn to something that doesn’t make sense in the present, but will reveal itself in the future. Martha Beck writes, “The board itself doesn’t impact reality; what changes your life is the process of creating the images-combinations of objects and events that will stick in your subconscious mind and steer your choices toward making the vision real.”

I encourage you to choose images that reflect the feelings and experiences you want to have – the settings and specific people may be different than you imagine today.

Whether creating a vision board or doing an intention to go with your Feng Shui cures there are three things to keep in mind:

Look for unfamiliar images that speak powerfully to your inner self. Why images? Because they impact your subconscious without your analytical conscious mind getting in the way. The best images will give you a visceral response – you will feel it in your heart, chest, or belly, or they will take your breath away. I love photos, paintings and sketches of flowers. I don’t know why they take my breath away. I don’t have a garden or even a green thumb. Someday I will learn what this attraction means and I’ll let you know.
Let Go of the Outcome. Once you have created your vision board or done your intention – let it go. Give it up to God/the Universe/the Laws of Physics. Chasing something or grasping after it will repel what you seek to draw into your life. Rick Segel, fellow-member of NSA and nationally respected expert on retail marketing, wrote about how he, a skeptic, was convinced. He cut out a picture of his dream car. Then he forgot about it until a couple of years later when he found the photo behind his desk a week after he ordered the exact same automobile! Now Rick did not wait for his dream car to passively appear in his life, he works hard at what he does and loves. Which leads us to…
Work and Openness to Opportunity Rather than sitting back and waiting to receive, its time to work. Start working to create the life/the world you want, while being open to unexpected opportunities and help.

This is a delicately balanced process:

Focus on the essence of what you want and being open to leadings in the form of unfamiliar images and symbols
Let it go and trust that what you need will come in the right way at the right time.
Work to make it happen and bring opportunities and help into your life.

If you want to read Martha Beck’s full article click here.

photo by Julie Jordan Scott

Successful Family Meal Times with Interiors Psychology

“It seems to me that our three most basic needs for food, security and love are so mixed and mingled and entwined that we cannot straightly think of one without the others.” – MFK Fisher.

Our hectic lives have made dinner time into a fast food caloric refueling. Recent academic studies prove eating as a family is directly correlated with improved grades, and less involvement with drugs and alcohol among teens. Being together is the magic.

Eating at a kitchen counter is simply bringing a fast food setting into your home – families eat and run. Creating a space that invites your family to gather together is where Architectural Psychology comes in. You simply use your kitchen table, lighting, sound and a simple ritual.

Here are 5 easy steps to successful family meal times:

Sit around a table. Why a table? This is the most preferred seating arrangement. It is easiest to make eye contact. It is the most comfortable: inviting people to relax, linger and connect. What happens when people sit at a counter? Studies have shown sitting in a row is the least preferred seating arrangement tested. It could be because you have to really turn to see the person next to you. Plus perching on a kitchen stool does not encourage real relaxation.

Eating in front of the television? This is unconscious eating. A study by Tufts University correlates this with increased consumption of calories, fats, salts and sugars, and decreased intake of fruits and vegetables.

Use the magic of light to bring your family together. A chandelier or pendant light over the family table creates a warm pool of light that literally draws people in. Like people gathering around a campfire. Recessed ceiling lights or flat fluorescent panels do not create the same effect. If you do not have pendant lighting, then use candles or move the table closer to a window.

Turn down the volume. After school and the commute home, everyone is at a high pitch. When it is time to sit down to the table, turn off the television, video games, telephones (let the answering machine pick up your calls), cell phones and game boys. Lower your own speaking voice and remind your kids to use their “indoor voices”. Soft background music is optional.

A friend’s 3 year old son was so caught up in watching TV that he would rush through his dinner to get back to the television. He was falling behind on his Pediatrician’s growth chart. After we talked she decided that the TV would be off for 30 minutes to have a quiet and focused meal time. Initially Timmy protested, then he discovered the fun of having meal time with his mom. Next check-up he was back on track with his growth curve.

Start your meal time with a ritual or family tradition. Ring a chime, light candles (always supervise children around flames), say grace, hold hands with a moment of silence. A very simple gesture which has the magic of ritual is to simply pass the food around the table, family style, rather than self serve. You are literally sharing the food. Is there a family tradition you would like to adopt or revive? Go for it!

Use this golden time to teach by example. Table manners (a great life skill and confidence booster) and conversational skills such as listening and taking turns. Demonstrate attitudes of respect and caring for family members by tone of voice and helping. This is a great time to teach family values, while discussing everyday happenings and current events.

Studies have shown that girls are more sensitive to role modeling around food and eating then boys. Daughters of mothers that over eat, no matter what they say or how they try to control what their daughters eat, will tend to have weight problems of their own. Conversely daughters of mothers who modeled healthy enjoyable eating had lower rates of eating disorders.

Food, security and love are intertwined in our deepest memories. Family meals are really about sharing love in the form of time and attention. Use the insights of Architectural Psychology to create a warm gathering space for your family to share. Connect and make the everyday a moment of celebration.

picture by Violetta 73

How to Use Feng Shui to Renew and Re-Claim Your True Blessings

The Wealth/Abundance area of the Ba-Gua is in the back left corner of your home or space when the Ba-Gua is oriented to your front door. This is where you can place cures to help bring prosperity energy into your home and your life.

I tell my clients and students that “Wealth and Abundance” represents blessings – in both material and non-material form. Use this space to remind yourself of what you are grateful for.

Take a few minutes to look at what you have in your Wealth area. Does it represent the abundance you want in your life? Does it energize that space? Does it energize your spirit? Considering adding something there that represents the people, talents, and resources you have in your life.

A family photo,
a souvenir of a great vacation,
a reminder of your great work colleagues.

If times are especially tough for you, right now, you may have to dig deeper to discover what you can be grateful for. But this deeper exploration will yield a renewed awareness of what is truly priceless in your life.

A snapshot of the friend who is there for you – no matter what,
a leaf or flower to remind you of the beauty of nature,
a symbol of a belief or philosophy that give you comfort and guidance.

Take a few minutes to reflect on and honor your most precious blessings with an image, a memento or a written reminder to yourself.

photo by”sassy salad”

Feng Shui Chinese New Year: 5 Steps for a Second Chance at New Beginnings

Are your New Year’s Resolutions fading fast? Give yourself another chance by creating space that makes those resolutions part of your life. Chinese New Year is traditionally a time to clean out the old and set the stage for Good Luck in the New Year. How about borrowing the date and the tradition?

A great way to succeed with new beginnings is to create spaces that support new habits, routines and activities. When you have a beautiful, balanced and organized space, acting on your goals is easier and more enjoyable.

Tips from Linda for creating space for your life goals:

Clear out the old

This is more than just cleaning, you are creating space for positive changes: healthy eating, exercise, meditation, projects, better record keeping, simple self-indulgences, etc. Just as decluttering gets rid of “stuff”, it gets rid of old energy in your space, energy that makes you feel stuck in your life.

Ask yourself:

“Have I used it in the last year?” (This allows for seasons and holidays.) If “no”, then your chances of using it this coming year are low to none. Let it go.

“How do I feel when I am wearing this?” “Fantastic”, “OK” or “uncomfortable” (it doesn’t fit or I don’t feel my best). Give it away to a charity or friend who will really love it and use it.

“If I were moving instead of just cleaning, would I take this with me?” Release the old, what does not represent and support who you are now and who you want to become.

Set up space to support your resolutions:

If your goal is healthy eating, throw out or give to a food pantry all no-no foods. Get rid of temptation. Make space for the healthy foods that you want to enjoy. Put your vegetable steamer, new herbs and spices, and countertop electric grill in easy to use places. Keep those new recipes handy.

If your goal is home exercise: create a space for your workouts. Clear out a space for your yoga mat in a quiet corner. Change your treadmill from a clothes rack to ready-to-use exercise machine. For yoga or mediation set out aromatherapy candles or incense. Music – have a CD player or iPod handy – mellow for yoga or tai chi, upbeat for aerobics. Adjustable lighting (no one wants to spend time in a dark corner) – lower for mediation or yoga; brighter for more vigorous exercise. Hang an inspiring picture where you can see it. Set up a designated place for clean exercise clothes in your closet or bureau. Now you can “just do it.”

If going to a gym is part of your New Beginning, then make a handy space for your gym bag near the door. Restock it with clean clothes and fresh water every time you come home from the gym.

If your goal is making more time for projects, writing, or crafts; then create an organized space for the tools that you will need to do this. Set up a table or desk, comfortable chair, good lighting and storage for your supplies when you are not working on them. Move beyond “making do.”

Focus on your goals – While you are clearing out, cleaning and setting up, keep in mind what you want to do, how good you will feel doing them and the benefits you will get. Picture how you want the space to look. You are creating space for the new you, a new present and new future.

Clear your space – A clearing ritual can energize your new space. Try one of the traditional rituals. Open a window. Clear with a sage or cedar smudge stick. Or use incense. Scatter salt in the corners of the room. Burn candles. Or place a small bowl of water in the center of the room. Choose whichever ritual feels right for you. As you do it think of the old stale energy leaving the space. Picture your old ways of doing (or not doing) things leaving too. When you are finished, close the window.

Celebrate your new beginning! Say a prayer or intention asking for support in your new endeavors. You can place fresh flowers in the room. Take an indulgent aromatherapy bath with candles and music. Or order-in some Chinese food (from the healthy food part of the menu). Finish with a tender tangerine; a traditional Chinese New Year treat associated with good luck.

Good Luck to you and all of your New Beginnings.

photo by Kevin Hutchinson

Feng Shui New Years: Discover Your Potentials, Let Go of Your “Shoulds”

“We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives…not looking for flaws, but for potential.” —Ellen Goodman

New Year’s resolutions tend to be lists of new or re-newed efforts to improve the perceived flaws in ourselves and our lives. You know that intentions work best when they are positively stated. Wouldn’t it be interesting to have a year of positive intentions to make the most of who we are and what we want (not should) to do.

Instead of resolving to loose weight – how about a goal of having more energy to be able to dance, hike, keep up with your kids/grandkids. To do those enjoyable activities you know you need to exercise regularly for more stamina and eat healthy to maintain a healthy body. Do you have a place for exercise? Hint: your stationary bicycle is not meant to be a clothes rack. Declutter your kitchen. Get rid or those tempting fattening foods (Give them to a local food pantry.) Make room for the healthy foods that make you feel good. Isn’t that much better than the mind set of deprivation for the goal of seeing a lower number on your scale?

Instead of a goal of reading all the books you got in the last year. Declutter your bookshelves. Let go of the books you feel obligated to read because they were a gift, will improve you as a human being or are supposed to improve your work skills/knowledge. Reading is a pleasure, not a duty. Now you can focus on the books you want to read.

Is your hobby or craft space cluttered with projects you are no longer interested in? Instead of gritting your teeth and getting it done, or not doing it and feeling guilty Donate it to a charity. Make the space support what you are interested in now.

Make room for what you want to do. Make room for your potential in your thinking and in your home.

Best wishes for your potential, for growth and fun in the new year.

picture by Kevin Dooley

Feng Shui and Wealth: Start the New Year with a Feng Shui Boost

There are two ways you can use Feng Shui to maximize your chances for wealth: make the most of the Chi in your space and enhance the Wealth area of the Ba-gua.

The Chi that enters your home or workspace brings life energy to you. Chi flow brings luck, opportunity and prosperity. Chi flow can equal money flow. To help with this be sure that the area around your front door – where Chi enters – is clear of clutter. Clutter can literally slow down or block the flow of Chi to your home. Clutter also depletes Chi energy, which is one reason why you feel so tired in a cluttered space. Then enhance the Chi-attracting qualities of your front door with color, plantings or appropriate decoration.

The Wealth area of your space is in the back left hand third of your home or office. Take a look at what is there. If there is any clutter – clear it out and organize it. If there are any sinks, toilets or drains in that area – like a bathroom or kitchen – then cover the drains when not in use – this includes keeping the toilet cover down. Place a potted plant on your vanity or toilet tank or on your kitchen counter near the sink. Plants have Chi energy and like attracts like. Therefore plants will attract Chi and less of it will go down the drains.

Once the Wealth area is cleared and prepared then you can add the cure of your choice: an aquarium or re-circulating water fountain, a picture of your dream vacation or dream house; or a photo to the people you love most – your non- material treasures. You can also use plants, flowers, a lamp, crystal, a stained glass suncatcher, wind chime or music.

Start with one simple cure for Wealth – less is truly more.

Horoscope: 2009 Year of the Ox

Chinese New Year is January 26, 2009, ushering in the year of the Ox. The Ox signifies new beginnings and slow but sure action while building things that last. That which is begun now is likely to have long term consequences.

Like last year (2008), this is an Earth year, but it is likely to be less tumultuous. On a personal level, better results are more likely to be achieved by going with the flow rather than aggressively charging forward and initiating a lot of action.

The combination of Earth and Ox is primarily characteristic of durability. It suggests an environment dominated by cautious pragmatism rather than quixotic dreaming. Things will get done. You will have the greatest success if you focus on just a few, long term projects. It also suggests proceeding in a cautious yet determined manner. Avoid taking unnecessary risks and yielding to the temptation to seek short term gains.

The year 2009 will be a period of lasting accomplishments. The big challenge everyone faces is to generate the enthusiasm and desire to act. Those individuals and organizations that do will create enduring benefits for themselves and the world.

photo by David Blackwell

Feng Shui and Make a Merry Christmas – with a recipe for Katherine Hepburn’s Brownies

“ You don’t have a merry Christmas, you make a merry Christmas.”– Nikki Giovanni, Poet

I read this 30-plus years ago and it popped into my head last week. Happiness cannot be bought, but it can be shared.

This holiday season, slow down and simplify. Focus on people instead of things. Let your “gifts” be the remembering and recognition of your blessings. It’s all in the right attitude. Make yourself a Thankful Christmas and you will have a Merry Christmas – and Hanukah and Kwanza.

(I hope this red nose was PhotoShopped-in.)

Happiness May be Contagious

A recent medical study published in the British Journal of Medicine demonstrates that happiness is contagious. Happiness has a ripple effect and can affect people of up to three degrees of separation – that is one’s friends’ friends’ friends. Other’s happiness positively affects you, but unhappy friends do not diminish the effect of happy friends. This effect is seen across all types of social ties. The effect diminishes over time, it needs to be replenished. The actual cause of this effect is not known. We can leave it to neuroscience and metaphysics to work this out. Perhaps there is Happiness Chi? The bottom line: Share your happiness and it will come back to you.

Katharine Hepburn’s Brownies

My Holiday gift to you is a recipe for my all time favorite and easiest brownie recipe – “Katharine Hepburn’s Brownies” – yes, THE Katharine Hepburn. She was a self-confessed chocoholic. Every time I make these, people ask for the recipe. Mix everything in a sauce pan and dump it into a square pan, bake and you are done – just a few dishes to wash. Didn’t I say simplify?

“Hepburn’s Brownies”

2 squares of unsweetened chocolate (If you have Guittard or Giradelli chocolate, it will be even better.)

1 stick of unsalted butter

1 c sugar

2 eggs

½ tsp vanilla

1/4 c flour

¼ tsp salt

1 c chopped walnuts [can be omitted with no decrease in deliciousness]

“First melt two squares of unsweetened chocolate and 1 stick of unsalted butter in a heavy saucepan. Remove from heat and stir in 1 cup of sugar. Add 2 eggs along with ½ tsp vanilla and beat like mad. Stir in ¼ cup of flour, ¼ teaspoon salt and a cup of chopped walnuts – not smashed up, you know, but just chopped into fairly good sized pieces.”

“Now mix all that up. Then you butter a square tin (8×8 inches) and dump the whole thing quickly into the pan. Stuff this pan into a preheated 325 degree oven for 30-40 minutes [test with a toothpick for doneness] After that take out the pan and let it cool for awhile, then cut into 1 ½ inch squares and dive right in.”

I can hear Katharine Hepburn’s voice in my ear whenever I am making this. Personally I let my ½ tsp measuring spoon of vanilla overflow a bit. And I cut the brownies into nine good size squares of chocolate fudgy delight. Let the endorphins in the chocolate do their work.